University:The birds, the bees and other crazy sex animals. (EXPLICIT)

Sex: If we aren't getting it, we are talking about it, surfing for it, shopping for it, or thinking about it. If we are getting it, we are still probably talking and thinking about it, worrying about if we are getting enough, and if what we are getting is good enough. I read an article on MSN this week that says if we are getting (or we think we are getting) more than the average amount or more than the people around us we are satisfied. Being at university I've been witness to some odd sexually related experiences, been a part of a few, and heard more stories than i can count about them. Sex seems to be something on everyone's mind, and i'm not just talking about men, the amount of Ann Summers parties ive been invited to over the term suggests just when men think that women just don't have a competitive sex drive with their own, we are turning this idea on it's head by the in fact possibly insulting notion that we aren't getting enough from our men or if we are that it isn't good enough to satisfy us with sales of vibrators, dildos and masturbation aiding lubricants flying off the shelves faster than ever. So what constitutes good sex?

The dominants of the world will tell you it's all about technique, whilst the romantics and the just plain lazy people telling you its about finding the right partner, and the atmosphere behind you. I have to say i think any two people can have good sex with enough effort put in on both sides, it's about listening to the other person and being patient and (preferably) not knackered, drunk or high.

In my opinion one of things that hinders great sex most of all is Porn. Yes it's all well and good when its just you and your hand but the standards for sex set by porn are less than desirable. I mean not being funny, but how many women actually look like those in porn? How many men have genitalia the size of new mexico? And how many women do you know that are able to orgasm 30 times and keep going without even a moments pause. Not many i shouldn't think. It's like sometimes we forget that we ourselves do not look or act like porn stars, so why are we expecting our partners to? On top of that scenarios in porn make it seem like you can invite a handy-man over to fix your sink and be boinking 30 seconds later when in reality the handy-man is probably going to be more concerned about the plumbing of your house. That's the thing about porn though, access to it over the last ten years has gotten exceedingly more and more easy, with most of the people i currently study with (particularly males) having learned most of what they know about sex, not from their parents giving them the talk about the birds and the bees, but from watching porn online.

It's a both terrifying, daunting and a little bit hilarious, but giving your kids 'the talk' really is crucial. There's always that one kid in class who thinks he's discovered like the coolest thing in the world and is running around telling everyone else about it often resulting in disbelief, especially from the girls, resulting in arguments such as: "What do you mean a baby comes out of there? You're a liar! It wouldn't fit!" and "You two hold hands! You must've had sex!" It's funny but even the smallest children are aware of sex in some way, and with the internet practically bombarding us with ads such as 'find slags to fuck in your city' and 'get a giant cock with just one blue pill.' much to our disgust we must arm the future generations with knowledge to help them achieve meaningful and healthy sexual experiences not a quick shag behind your local Maccies.

It's funny but it seems incredibly easy for both guys and girls to get sex nowadays, on a night clubbing pulling seems to be fairly simple and as long as you avoid lines such as 'Hey i want to stick it in you' or lines so cheesy they make you want to die such as 'If i could rearrange the alphabet i would put I and U together' if you find someone who is interested, odds are, sex is achievable in one to two hours (maybe less if you are lucky). University makes one night stands the social norm and people who attempt relationships in such a temporary lifestyle seem crazy. Sad truth, but there are so many blokes who i have heard using the line 'I'm at uni, i just wanna have a good time' as though a relationship is a dagger to the heart.

Here for your amusement, are some of the best copulation facts from the animal kingdom:

• Muscovy ducks cant be raped! They have a special vaginal canal that twists so they cannot be raped.
• A male honeybees penis gets destroyed after sex
• The female bedbug has no sexual opening. To get around this, the male uses his penis to DRILL A VAGINA into the female.
• An elephants penis is so large it is used as an extra support, AKA a fifth leg.
• An insect known as the water boatman can make loud noises with it's genitals
• There is a species of lizard that is entirely female
• An Argonaut is a type of octopus that has a detachable penis.
• A species of spider breaks off its own penis to avoid being eaten by the female.

So what do you guys think about sex? Any funny stories to tell? Did your parents give you the talk? If not how did you learn?

Keep it real homies!

Atargatis over and out xx