Friend Zone or Danger Zone?

The friend zone: that desolate lonely place full of conversations about potential partners that leaves you with that thought:
 'Why are you interested in them? I would treat you one hundred times better than they ever could!'
 It's cold and barren and the signal sucks, leaving you feeling cold at night wishing the person you call your 'friend' was lying naked next to you and feeling as though even if you screamed your feelings to the world, you still wouldnt be heard! It's an interesting concept, getting on with somone like a house on fire, yet having no sexual feelings for them and not being able to view them in a girlfriend or boyfriend capacity. it's as though god is laughing at you, having someone of the opposite sex with whom you are so compatible and yet unable to feel the 'spark' we always seek when finding a partner. It also seems incredibly ironic that in many cases when we do feel that surge of sexual energy, the person we feel it for turns out to be a total ass anyway.

I often feel like 'I just want to be friends' is one of those lines like 'it isn't me, it's you' in a break up. Sometimes it IS you... the other person is just too polite to say anything, the same way 'friends' is code for 'NOT BOYFRIEND'. I have heard this 'friends' word tossed around alot after relationships break up too and i often wonder how you forcibly friend zone (perhaps without having a choice in the matter) someone you actually have had sexual feelings towards. How do people ever become friends with an Ex? I have been in two long term relationships and i can tell you that both men i deteste with a vengence, this often leading to much enjoyment thinking of scenarios in which they are somehow magically run over by a truck, or impaled by a narwhal. Even when things do end on good terms how can we get rid of those memories we had with an Ex? Do all the sexual feelings dissipate because of the emotional pain of break up, or does becoming friends with an Ex bring those feelings to the surface and cause even more pain and confusion.

Some say it is a question of time, but if time is a healer, love is definately some infectious disease perhaps immortalised through the memories we sometimes wish we could get rid of. It is my experience that no amount of time makes friendship with an ex easy. I mean after all, how do you deal with their new partner should they have one andhow do you get over the attraction that must have been there to start with?

The thing about the friend zone is, once you reside there it's like being in an episode of 'LOST', trapped on an island that can move through time and is pretty much undetectable to any rescue vehicles. Of course you should be thankful you havent been stranded in the middle of vast ocean of lonliness, having kept your friend, but this is a rarely appreciated constellation prize.

The thing that makes me laugh about 'LOST' is that for the first 3 series the characters are fighting tooth and nail to get off the damn island, only to return BY CHOICE one series later. So keeping with my rather lovely analogy i've got going on right now: If you do, by some miracle ever make your way out of the friend zone and things go okay for a while but then it all falls apart, how the hell do you get back there, to the friend zone you so despised to begin with?Is it purely a question of finding that common ground that made you great friends to begin with and recapturing those rivetting sexless conversations that made you intruiged by that person to begin with? I often worry, having had many friendships end because feelings have not been mutual that if i ever did actually have feelings toward a friend and take the risk in trying to be with them, that if the relationship did end, the fallout would be 100x worse than friend zoning them in the first place.

I've been asking around a few of my friends and another interesting thing i've noticed is the amount of girls that have never been friend-zoned compared to the amount of guys that have. Is it because the testerone flying at light speed around their little bodies makes it impossible for them not to see every woman, no matter how good of a friend they may be, in some kind of sexual way? Or could it be because they simply don't have enough blood in their body to use both their brain and penis at the same time, making sex with a friend far too easy as the act itself can be considered brainless.

Anyway, lots of questions asked today, have you ever been friend zoned, managed to be friends with an Ex or managed to swim off that desert island known as the friend zone? Drop me a comment, i'm dying to know!

Atargatis, calling it a night for now, over and out! xxx