I met a guy a few months back, and as i got to know him more it seemed that the list of issues he was dealing with just kept on growing it, started off with 'I just lost my job' and ended with 'because i had a mental breakdown and am on lots of medication because my ex girlfriend was raped.' Of course he never mentioned this second part until i'd known him quite a while and by that point i really didn't know what to say. You certainly can't do much to help someone in that situation much in the way throwing a dinghy to someone caught in a tsunami doesn't do much good. It's selfish but in some cases i really do believe the best thing to do is to preserve yourself and walk away. In all honestly the thing about baggage is, it's mainly invisible until you are comfortable enough with someone to let them in past all the defences said baggage has caused you to put up in the first place, and by then it is usually too late to be able to simply walk away as feelings are involved. I suppose the other thing is, if someone dumped you for YOUR baggage then you'd be pretty damn offended, it comes down to that we really shouldn't judge people on their past, give them a clean slate and hope that all their issues don't affect what's going on in the present. But seriously though how often does that happen? If you know that someone has been in an abusive relationship no doubt you are going to put any trust issues they have down to that without even a second thought that it may be something else at the root of the problem. Unfortunately for us as a species we take part in something called Experiential learning whereby we learn from the things that happen to us throughout our lives. This often means that without wanting it to past events will effect current day actions, does this mean that we can never really ditch the baggage we accumulate? Or does it mean that we simply need a long term opposite experience to counteract the problem?
I was in a debate the other day about Terminal illness and suddenly some young man places up his hand and asks a really interesting question:
"How long would you wait to tell someone you had just started dating that you had a long term degenerative disease (such as Alzheimers or Multiple sclerosis)"
I thought this question was fantastic but from my point of view i said that i would tell them straight away so that they had all the facts before deciding whether or not to continue with pursuit of a relationship. So then this other guy puts up his hand and unbelievably says:
"I don't think i would ever tell them, what they don't know can't hurt them right?" He said this with such confidence i nearly fell off my seat. I can just picture being married to someone for 25 years and suddenly they can't remember who you are anymore, and you find out that they knew all along they were going to develop the condition. How pissed would you be?! That was when i realised that i would rather have all the issues out on the table than be afraid to uncover what people have going round on that 'oh so irritating' luggage carousel.
I know that this post is pretty heavy and so here for your entertainment is a list of the ten weirdest things ever left unclaimed in baggage claim. I mean we've all seen that one lonely case left on the conveyor after everyone else has gone, but it's a little hard to believe these items were forgotten!
1) Life size 'Hoggle' minion doll from 'Labrinth'
2)A large case full of ancient Egyptian artifacts (including a mummified hand!)
3) A rattle snake
4)A naval guidance system worth $250,000
5) A barbie doll full of $500 bills
6) A full suit of medieval Armour
7)A violin made in 1770
8)A 5.8 carat canary diamond
9) A camera designed for use on the NASA space shuttle
10) A 40.98 carat natural emerald.
Hope this gave you some food for thought and that you had a little giggle at the list above. What are your views on dealing with baggage? What for you is just too much to help someone carry? Drop me a comment.
TTFN!
Atargatis xxx
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