University: Treat 'em mean keep 'em keen!

We're all brought up in the belief that we should treat others how we want to be treated, so when was the memo sent out that i apparently missed saying that perhaps one of the most effective ways to attract someone is to treat them as if you aren't interested at all?? Perhaps even treat them a little cruel in order to 'keep 'em keen'? We all knew the drill in Year 1,2 and 3 at school, when a boy likes a girl he punches her on the arm. But when did it start being the other way around, and when did it become standard to treat someone like crap as a way of showing affection. Have little boys stopped outgrowing the 'punching on the arm' phase? Or is it something they crave from the opposite sex as a sign you really like them back. Is it really okay to treat em mean and play harder to get than a decent pair of shoes for under a tenner? Or are we all just being mean for fear of getting hurt?

The problem with playing hard to get, is where do you draw the line between just being mean and acting like a complete bitch. With the amount of potential partners that after a short amount of time reveal themselves to be completely wrong for us how can we root out the ones that are worth our time, if we are constantly acting like we are unaffected by anyone. What ever happened to everyone being nice to each other and make as much effort as possible for the people we care about? What is so wrong about being enthusiastic about our feelings for each other and when did cynicism get so damn popular! Call me crazy, but when did we start playing all these complicated games with one another, so much so to the point that when you don't know the rules, and when sometimes you don't even know which game you are playing you end up not only losing the game, but having your feelings hurt in the process. What happened to people just telling each other honestly how they feel. Wouldn't it just be so much simpler? I mean sure sometimes we would get hurt and not always like what we hear, but it would avoid wasting time with people who weren't serious about us. This in some ways is why i prefer being friends with men, with men there is little secrecy or bitching but simply blunt honesty. Then again when we it comes to relationships, the man can be just as much to blame for playing games, so are we screwed either way?

A good friend of mine said that there is a difference between playing games and keeping our autonomy. How much of ourselves should we be giving away to our other halves? Is it okay to ignore someone for a few days to check they are still interested, or is that playing with fire if we aren't ready to learn that they just really aren't that interested. Is ignorance really bliss or is better to have all the cards on the table? I find it hard to believe that there is actually a relationship out there where not at least one person is thinking about where it is going in the long run, if there even will be a long run. I know i personally always want to know if there is a future for such a relationship, better you know before you get attached that after right?

Just a short little rant from me today, keep it clean people.

Atargatis over and out xxx

Subtitles please?

The amount of mis-communication between the sexes nowadays, you gotta ask yourself how the hell anyone ends up doing anything right. It's recently come to my attention that men and women communicate very differently. With women it's a lot of so called 'subtlety' whereby saying what we actually mean seems a foreign and somewhat stupid idea. With universities teeming with sexual relationships, first time lovers and new relationships it seems the CV writing classes would be better off replaced with a 'How to speak woman' or the much simpler class 'How to speak man.' It seems funny that i tend to choose male friends over female ones because i like how they get right to the point and don't fuck about in saying what's on their mind. However when it comes to relationships, in the mind of a woman we cannot accept that what a man says is what he actually means. A man could say 'Honey i'm not really in the mood to go out tonight, i'd rather just stay in and play World of Warcraft', and we take this to mean 'yeah i don't want to hang out with you because you drive me nuts and i hate you, you crazy bitch." It seems like a massive over exaggeration, but to a female the male counterpart should always be thinking about/wanting to spend every moment with his girl, hence the quizzical looks from men when after they have dropped this seemingly coldly logical and unintentionally hurtful bombshell they are greeted with dagger filled looks and late night phone calls filled with the questions of 'are you cheating on me?' and 'have i done something wrong?' from the woman. 

I say all this perhaps like men should know this about women by now, when the truth is we are highly unpredicatable creatures. Whereas some women won't analyse anything at all, other will spend hours obsessing over what has been said/texted. This is equally hilarious because what men say they nearly always without a shadow of a doubt mean with a conviction of 100%. So women are sitting around analysing what men say, and men are sitting around taking women at their word. You then come to the question of, why the hell aren't we just pairing up with people of our own sex, wouldn't that just be a hell of a lot easier? I ask myself this question all the time, and i honestly couldn't tell you why we bother trying to be with people who speak an almost foreign language when we have people who are from our home territories. I don't pretend to know what it is like to be in a homosexual relationship, as i have never experienced this myself, but i have to wonder, is it easier being with someone who thinks in a similar way, and not having to deal with the divide of the sexes? If it easier then being gay sounds awesome.

I then get to thinking, maybe it isn't the sexes, maybe it is us as individuals, and maybe i have simply never met someone able to communicate with me in a harmonious manner. One in which mis-translation doesn't end in arguments and the traditional and almost hilarious to use phrase 'You just don't get it do you!?' I often wonder, if it's just me, but then after looking back through history and watching Shakespeare's characters also struggle to understand and communicate with their women, you start thinking that this problem could just be about the most universal thing we've experienced.

It makes you wonder how women and men ever exist in harmony, i know there's all that ying and yang bollocks out there but honestly, the guy leaves the cap off the toothbrush and there's women looking for a bloody carving knife. Then there's women yammering on during the big game and a guys got out his hunting rifle. When you think about all the wars between religions, doesn't it seem mad that we haven't seen a war of the sexes before? I'm not talking about suffrage either, i'm talking full on tanks and guns warfare. All i can think is that the women would get a bit too caught up in what colours the tanks would be, but would be more organised, whilst the men would die from poor hygiene and too many people falling and drowning in toilets after they leave the seat up. To think that science is evolving so fast, that in a hundred years we may not even need sperm donors to conceive and that perhaps maybe we may soon be able to engineer our own sperm. Are men becoming redundant? Not even just men, with incubators that mimic the human womb and genome technology being what it is, could we one day make even women redundant?

Now don't get me wrong little men readers, i love you all very deeply, and for me you could never ever be replaced. But my point is at times the sexes want to kill one another for our differences, so how is it we ever end up living together, settling down and having babies. I suppose that's where the chemical reactions and somewhat magical mystery of love and attraction comes into it. This affection that stops us ripping the balls off of our partner, that bridges the divide created by Venus and Mars and allows us to indeed, exist in harmony (apart from the obvious disputes about toothpaste caps and toilet seats and what not).  Makes you think doesn't it? Ain't love grand!

Do you think we could ever make one of the sexes redundant? Do you find it easier to be friends with someone of the opposite sex? Do you think or know whether it is easier to be in a relationship with someone who is the same sex as you?

I'm dead curious so leave me a comment!

Atargatis,(going to find my carving knife as the toothpaste cap is off again!) Over and out! xx

University: How do you break a vicious cycle?

University, especially for freshers is one of those places that induces all kinds of bad habits. The question is, when do this habits become a vicious cycle and how do we break these cycles and move forward. As any fresher (except possible law students and science students) will tell you, the first year is a bit of a doss compared to A levels. This leaves us time, to keep things tidy, create a more healthy balance between work and play, and most of all, take up hobbies and increase or better our skill sets as individuals. But then that's the thing, does anyone actually take advantage of all this free time to better themselves in the first year? Um, from my experience, not in the slightest. So many people (including myself) are happy to settle for second best or simply hanging around their flat eating super noodles, going out getting pissed, then lather, rinse repeat as needed. So how the hell do you break a vicious cycle?

It could be said that the most vicious of cycles involve relationships, when two people continue to have the same arguments, never reaching a resolution, or when an issue is resolved in theory the problematic behaviour still carries on. It's even harder to break a vicious cycle when feelings are involved and you are trying to hang on to someone, even when they are no good to you at all. Sometimes a vicious cycle will transcend a single person, in a single relationship, and the cycle will include several people. Could it be then that we should try going for someone we are in fact not attracted to or would never usually attempt a relationship with? Or are we all just stuck falling for the same type of people, with the same emotional issues and all in all, leading into the same soul shattering conclusion of pain and heartbreak over and over and over again?

I cannot accept this, and personally, as i am currently attempting to break a vicious cycle with my own relationship pattern, i cannot help but hope someone will come along and change everything, breaking it for me. But what if it isn't the other persons fault and someone else can't fix it, heaven forbid i think it, but could it be perhaps MY fault. It's a tough thing to think but sometimes when in a vicious cycle one has to ask, is this really a vicious cycle, Or just a very long sequence of shitty luck? Is it something i am doing, knowing the outcome will be the same but still attempting it anyway? I mean isn't the definition of madness doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome? It's an interesting idea to think that perhaps when having had a string of bad relationships, maybe it isn't a cycle at all, but just the way of the world. Now always leaving work until the last minute, KNOWING that it will cause panic and lower quality product, THAT'S definitely a vicious cycle, especially when one, as so many people i know, vows never to do it again, only to find themselves 3 months down the line doing an assignment that's due in the next day.

The other thing about university is whether we like it or not, it's full of people doing drugs and  drinking heavily. It's easy when you first leave home to go through the whole 'kid in a candy store' phase, but seriously people, trust me, your roommates tend to get pissed off when they repeatedly find you in a puddle of your own urine/vomit every morning. Not that i'm saying once in a while isn't to be expected, but there will always be one or two people that can't help but lose control of themselves, over and over again, despite the consequences to those around them or to detriment of their own lives. This in itself is a vicious cycle, because the more we indulge these substances the more we rely on them.

It's a well known saying 'forgive and forget' but what do you do when you are stuck in a vicious cycle with a friend? Maybe they're always cancelling to spend time with a boyfriend or girlfriend, or letting things 'slip accidentally' that you've told them in confidence. Maybe they are simply leaving the lid of the bin open creating an awful smell. How many times is too many times to forgive and forget, when do we stand up for ourselves and speak our minds, or simply just walk away? It's a well known fact that the best friendships are built on a foundation of white lies and mutual hate of the same people nowadays, but how many times is it acceptable to overlook bad behaviour when it starts being to the detriment of our own feelings?As a 'hard' person i want to say you explain the problem once and then consider cutting them out of your life if things don't change, but then again, that's a little harsh. It's true that two dots make a line not a pattern, and so surely we should give at least 3 warnings before we fly completely off the handle.

It's a sad fact that the nicest people are always the ones who get walked over the most, usually because they give so many chances and want to try everything before giving up on an individual. But it really is true nowadays that everyone should put themselves before anyone else. We have to protect ourselves, and look out for us before we can be there for anyone else.

If it's out of fear you are stuck in a cycle, maybe fear of being alone, fear of losing a friend or maybe even fear of the unknown, don't be. The only way life can get better if you are in a cycle such as the ones i have describe is to move forward and break that cycle. This life is what you make it, and is not awfully long, so what we should do above anything else is pursue happiness as if it were the last doughnut on earth, ruthlessly and without mercy to the people around us. It sounds harsh, but fuck it people, the only person who can make you happy is you. So get to it!

Any advice or thoughts on vicious cycles? You know what to do!

Atargatis, now prepping for pursuit of happiness, and possibly some food, Over and out! xx 
 

University:The birds, the bees and other crazy sex animals. (EXPLICIT)

Sex: If we aren't getting it, we are talking about it, surfing for it, shopping for it, or thinking about it. If we are getting it, we are still probably talking and thinking about it, worrying about if we are getting enough, and if what we are getting is good enough. I read an article on MSN this week that says if we are getting (or we think we are getting) more than the average amount or more than the people around us we are satisfied. Being at university I've been witness to some odd sexually related experiences, been a part of a few, and heard more stories than i can count about them. Sex seems to be something on everyone's mind, and i'm not just talking about men, the amount of Ann Summers parties ive been invited to over the term suggests just when men think that women just don't have a competitive sex drive with their own, we are turning this idea on it's head by the in fact possibly insulting notion that we aren't getting enough from our men or if we are that it isn't good enough to satisfy us with sales of vibrators, dildos and masturbation aiding lubricants flying off the shelves faster than ever. So what constitutes good sex?

The dominants of the world will tell you it's all about technique, whilst the romantics and the just plain lazy people telling you its about finding the right partner, and the atmosphere behind you. I have to say i think any two people can have good sex with enough effort put in on both sides, it's about listening to the other person and being patient and (preferably) not knackered, drunk or high.

In my opinion one of things that hinders great sex most of all is Porn. Yes it's all well and good when its just you and your hand but the standards for sex set by porn are less than desirable. I mean not being funny, but how many women actually look like those in porn? How many men have genitalia the size of new mexico? And how many women do you know that are able to orgasm 30 times and keep going without even a moments pause. Not many i shouldn't think. It's like sometimes we forget that we ourselves do not look or act like porn stars, so why are we expecting our partners to? On top of that scenarios in porn make it seem like you can invite a handy-man over to fix your sink and be boinking 30 seconds later when in reality the handy-man is probably going to be more concerned about the plumbing of your house. That's the thing about porn though, access to it over the last ten years has gotten exceedingly more and more easy, with most of the people i currently study with (particularly males) having learned most of what they know about sex, not from their parents giving them the talk about the birds and the bees, but from watching porn online.

It's a both terrifying, daunting and a little bit hilarious, but giving your kids 'the talk' really is crucial. There's always that one kid in class who thinks he's discovered like the coolest thing in the world and is running around telling everyone else about it often resulting in disbelief, especially from the girls, resulting in arguments such as: "What do you mean a baby comes out of there? You're a liar! It wouldn't fit!" and "You two hold hands! You must've had sex!" It's funny but even the smallest children are aware of sex in some way, and with the internet practically bombarding us with ads such as 'find slags to fuck in your city' and 'get a giant cock with just one blue pill.' much to our disgust we must arm the future generations with knowledge to help them achieve meaningful and healthy sexual experiences not a quick shag behind your local Maccies.

It's funny but it seems incredibly easy for both guys and girls to get sex nowadays, on a night clubbing pulling seems to be fairly simple and as long as you avoid lines such as 'Hey i want to stick it in you' or lines so cheesy they make you want to die such as 'If i could rearrange the alphabet i would put I and U together' if you find someone who is interested, odds are, sex is achievable in one to two hours (maybe less if you are lucky). University makes one night stands the social norm and people who attempt relationships in such a temporary lifestyle seem crazy. Sad truth, but there are so many blokes who i have heard using the line 'I'm at uni, i just wanna have a good time' as though a relationship is a dagger to the heart.

Here for your amusement, are some of the best copulation facts from the animal kingdom:

• Muscovy ducks cant be raped! They have a special vaginal canal that twists so they cannot be raped.
• A male honeybees penis gets destroyed after sex
• The female bedbug has no sexual opening. To get around this, the male uses his penis to DRILL A VAGINA into the female.
• An elephants penis is so large it is used as an extra support, AKA a fifth leg.
• An insect known as the water boatman can make loud noises with it's genitals
• There is a species of lizard that is entirely female
• An Argonaut is a type of octopus that has a detachable penis.
• A species of spider breaks off its own penis to avoid being eaten by the female.

So what do you guys think about sex? Any funny stories to tell? Did your parents give you the talk? If not how did you learn?

Keep it real homies!

Atargatis over and out xx

Shut up and drive

 Drive: ive been thinking about it alot this week, what does it mean if you have it? Where does it come from? Have our generation lost it? And how can you get it if you want it but don't have it? It's highly amusing to me the amount of people who bitch about their current situation when they actually have the means to change it. Moaning you don't have money because you can't get a job? Do work experience! Volunteer! Do as much as you can to pump up your CV and stop sitting on the sofa bitching about how unfair the employment system is today. 

It's funny because in high school it is very clear looking back that the girls in class (Well most anyway) have much more motivation to do work than the males. You gotta wonder if its the fact that blokes dont develop the consequence part of their brain until around the age of 20-22 that they don't think: "Shit if i don't do this piece of work i'm gonna fail, not be able to get my GCSE's and not be able to get a good job" it's more along the lines of " If i don't do this piece of work right now i can play on World of Warcraft/FIFA/Watch Youtube videos all day." Suddenly the prospect of doing that piece of that work no longer looks like a stepping stone to something greater, but the shitty option against the million of probably pointless but more enjoyable tasks you could be undertaking. 

Now i'm not saying that guys are some lazy opposite to women, and that women are all motivated and hard working all the time because that would be a huge LIE. But it can be said that men are a heck of a lot more laid back about the future leading to a considerable lack in drive. The amount of men i know who are so laid back they are literally horizontal about allowing things to work out in their own way in their own time is startling. I have noticed that women are alot more organised and plan ahead. You've got to wonder if this roots back to the fact that cave women had to juggle a million things, kids, cooking, cleaning, keeping the caveman husband happy. Whereas cavemen were very single minded, could this be because worrying about a million things at once plus the future is going to lead to some woolly mammoth or saber toothed tiger biting your head off as you stop and contemplate what cave party to attend next week? It is as though just as women have better peripheral vision than men, men have better focus on whats in front of them and have a one track mind, meaning seeing potential complications in the future is diminished as the focus on one task, or even one day at a time.

Drive to succeed is also born, as many people will tell you, from a love of what you are doing. If you really want to be a successful writer, you will sit down and write. If you want to be an elite gymnast you will sacrifice and train, and none of this happens without motivation. A love of success and a passion for what you are doing helps. If you find yourself lacking motivation, perhaps the question shouldn't be how can i get motivated, but rather, why aren't i motivated about this in the first place? Some people just have it, that determination and drive that leads them to whatever they desire (within reason) but maybe drive is something we can learn through trial and error. In everyday life, we have to do things we don't want to do, the dishes, laundry, visiting awful relatives, but at the end of the day you can look at it two ways:

1) I can get this shit done and then forget about it as soon as possible, thus gaining the freedom to do what i choose sooner.

2) I can ignore the fact that i have shit to do and wait until the last possible second thus inducing a mini heart attack and causing the shit i have to do to be rushed and probably less than good quality, even though i get to do what i want to do in the short term.

I cant help but wonder if the reason our generation is seemingly so whiny and lack motivation is because we probably have the most distractions available to us than any generation that has gone before. I mean when my Nan was a kid the most entertaining thing she could think of to do with her afternoon was to knit or play 'Ball in a cup'. I mean hell compared to that i'd rather do work. It's the world as we know it today that can be blamed for the poor attitudes and drive in it's young people, you can't give your child a phone with access to the internet, Facebook, all their other phone owning friends and twitter and expect them to sit with it idle on the table doing their homework. Of course they are going to watch a video on Youtube of some knit-wit skateboarding down some steep stairs and ripping their nut sack open, that's just bloody human nature.

I suppose all in all it comes down to how much you want stuff and how immediate the result of your hard work is, i think we find it hard to comprehend how actions we execute now will affect us in 3 years, especially when we see others around us putting in no work and getting everything we are expected to work for. You know the guy i mean, the one who waltzes into the final exam having attended none of the classes, done none of the revision and waltzes right on out again with above 90% and a ticket to Cambridge university. Seriously how annoying is that guy?!?!?!?

 There comes a time when we must all grow up and realise nothing in this world comes free, even if it doesn't require money, effort will be the preferred payment. Being a young person today has so many more distractions than it has ever had before, but we need to all knuckle down and start looking to the future. I mean after all the fuss made by people that think they can run the country better than Maggie Thatcher, you would think that they would fear the future of politics even more. Honestly, who wants a PM that's going to blow off meetings with Korea to play Call of Duty?

What do you think about drive today? Is it the most important key to success or is there another ingredient to the recipe?

Atargatis, over and out xxx

University: Return of the boxes!

As the Easter holidays draw to a close i begin to re-pack my life back into the many boxes that journey between my home and University as i have done many times before. It is an interesting journey that of a university student, one filled with highs and lows and above all else life lessons. It appears every time i return from university it i bring back more than i went with, and not just material objects either, i'm talking about life experience. University isn't right for everyone, and at one time, i didn't think it was the right place for me, but as i have moved through the terms i have realised that the more independence university gives me the stronger and more able i become. It's a big decision to make, moving away from home and away from everyone and everywhere that you are familiar with, but if the fear of the unknown is whats stopping you, then put that to rest, because for all you know the unknown could be the best thing that ever happened to you.

It's true what they say about the university year, the first term, everybody has so much energy: going out partying and getting wasted every night, making the effort to join societies and sports teams, go to the gym, making it to lectures seem so easy. It's the 'second term slump' thats the bitch! When you come back after Christmas, the honeymoon period with your flatmates is over and everyone gets on each others nerves more, everybody has pretty much steam rollered through the money they had saved for the first term, the weather is usually crappy, exams seem to never end during the first few weeks of January and lectures at 9am seem less and less appealing as the weeks go by! It's hard to keep it going, especially when everybody is seemingly alot more settled and less up for going out every night. It's as interesting phenomenon, but not one that can't be beaten, for me i used this time to broaden my skill set, i started a blog, learned some new recipes and broadened my friendship group by reconnecting with some old friends from high-school that i hadn't been in touch with too much, but went to the same university as me! I also made a bigger effort with people back home, its easy to forget, but those people who choose not to go to university and rather stay home and work lose a whole set of friends as university goers disperse across the country.

The third term, the one which i am about to start, is a funny one, not filled with lectures, but rather exams that for me are few, and assignment deadlines. Also this term is only 4-5 weeks in length, which makes going back at all seem at times, pointless. I plan to make the best of this by making the most of the nice weather and trying to discover some outdoorsy stuff to do around the city, also it can't hurt to start on the reading list for next year, being prepared is never a bad thing.

So enough rambling from me about the layout of a year at Uni and here for your enjoyment are the Top ten life lessons i have learned while being at university.
1) Don't piss off the people who live above you, they can make your life a living hell!
2) Talking about a problem to someones face is always better than bitching about it.
3) Old friends can be the best!
4)Never drink and then try to use the stove
5) When buying heavy stuff for your flat (e.g toaster) go as a group so one person doesn't get lumbered carrying it!
6) Never put eggs in a carrier bag with heavy stuff!
7) Never mouth off to the security in halls (especially during a fire drill)
8)When on a night out, nobody gets left alone!
9)Always party like there's no tomorrow.
10) the only person who can make you really happy is you, so get out and do as much as you can!

What life lessons do you wish you could have passed on to yourself when you were younger? What did you learn by going to university? Drop a comment and let me know!
Atargatis, over and out! xxx

Fifty shades of 'what is this?'

So in this modern day we are no longer simply single or in a relationship, as E.L James suggests, there are not only 50 shades to people but also to the relationship dynamic these days. I mean even Facebook offers the 'open relationship' and 'its complicated' as a legitimate relationship status, is it any wonder we are all waking around asking the terrifying questions 'what is this?' And 'where is this going'? It seems crazy but in a fast paced world full of drunken one night stands and easy to come by sex is it becoming even more vital to protect yourself and establish the rules early on? 

But how early is too early? If you've been having feelings for someone for just a few weeks is it too soon to ask questions that can put so much pressure on an individual? On one hand you don't want it to be so soon that is scares the crap out of your potential partner and sends them running for the hills, but on the other you don't want to wait too long only to discover that significant other you've been pining for has been sleeping with every random drunken stranger they happen to stumble across.

How people feel about the definition of relationships today is dramatically different than it would have been 50 years ago with relationship types ranging from fully committed all the way down to fuck buddy. The way people feel about defining relationships varies hugely too, with some guys wanting to make it official after just one week of intense texting to men and women still happy with a casual set up after over a year. It's my opinion that a one month period is long enough to establish where things are going if anywhere but like I said, I've been with people that disagree with me on this amount of time and are ready to run for the door after any hint of a commitment being necessary.

It's a hard but very true fact that if your hearing the 'i'm not really looking for anything' or the 'i don't know what i want' lines then usually the furthest that relationship will go will be a casual one. It's a common problem that an individual believes that they are the exception to the rule, when in fact if someone doesn't want or isn't ready for a relationship it perhaps doesn't matter how perfect you seem for each other, it just wont work. The thing about relationships is if one of you is always doing most of the work, making most of the effort or sending the first text it usually won't work either. I mean if one person was supposed to make all the effort, we would all be perfectly content being single our whole lives. It's also easy to get too attached nowadays, with the growing number of categories for a relationship to fall into meaning that hurt is perhaps not more inevitable but far more likely. The thing is, communication with these issues is key, without establishing whats going on early, and having rules in place you can end up wasting large stretches of time either in denial, or deluded as to the true nature of what is going on in the head of the other person. It's easy to analyse and analyse, but until you've actually heard something from the horses mouth, nothing swimming around in your hormone ridden psyche should be taken as fact.

Has this ruined any true notion of romance for us now? With courting 50 years ago having an inevitable and clearly defined finish line and goal, does the wide variety of relationship types now ruin the journey of getting to know someone. On the contrary, i believe it makes it all the more exciting, and with less social stigma on being in a committed relationship and marriage, we know that when someone decides to make that commitment, it is what they truly want, and not what they assume they should do next.

It has also come to my attention that people put incredible amounts of pressure on themselves to ask these questions, when perhaps this leads to paranoia which can cause more problems than good. If someone is devouring your every thought and you are dropping the majority of your single life to spend pretty much all of your time with them be sure that you both understand that you have the freedom to be your own person and that time apart doesn't mean you aren't close. Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean you become one person, and as usual i give the old advice, don't drop your friends, where a guy may not always be there, friendship will.

So whats your favourite type of relationship? Or do you just prefer being single? How long is too long to wait to ask the important questions about defining a relationship in your opinion?
Drop me a comment!
Atargatis over and out! xxx